A few lessons learned

Throughout August the Cool Box team went out on The Common every Friday evening, mostly hanging out together, getting to know the area and each other and spotting the occasional teenager. It has been slow. We know there are young people out there but they aren't exactly waving flags to let us know where they are. We have seen a few groups around the fairground and arcades but they seem to change every week. We have remained outwardly confident that with patience the evening will come when we get a chance to engage more effectively but I will admit that inside I was beginning to have a few doubts.

Alongside the actual project I was having lots of fun talking about Cool Box at meetings, creating a newsletter about it, organising the rotas and writing reports. I was enjoying the recognition and attention and wondering privately if this was one big fraud.

It took a rainy, miserable Friday night out to teach me the lesson I should already have learned - this is God's project and not mine. On that evening I lost my nerve completely and missed two or three chances to begin a conversation with a group of young people. I was with a small, inexperienced group who were looking at me for leadership and I totally bottled it. Next day as I wrote up my notes on the evening I was ready to justify what happened in a hundred and one ways: it wasn't the right time, it was too dark, I wasn't feeling great, when it's the right time I'll KNOW. Actually the real reason is more to do with my fear and lack of confidence and that I'm really not at my best approaching strangers!

So a week later we went out again and having realised our, and mostly my, limitations we prayed for the ability to go out in God's strength ...as our own wasn't going to be enough. Maybe you have to be completely humbled and faced with your own ineptitude before you can pray that and actually mean it, I don't know ...but we did have a surprising evening.